It’s easy to assume that because you HAVE support in your life that it’s the RIGHT support. Most of the time, I'd venture to say the support we have on an everyday basis is enough for doing what we are doing NOW. But if we are trying to get to another level, trying to break through to something bigger and bolder, the support structure around us is like the scaffolding needed to build a higher building. It has to rise for us to build higher.
Because here is the thing: There is the ‘I love you, I believe in you and your big goals’ type of support. And there is the “You can push yourself way more and I’ll support you every step of the way.” And it’s really hard for people to serve both types of support consistently. Yes, my husband can kick my butt at times (and definitely does) but EVERY time we sit down for a glass of wine, do I REALLY want him in that role? Does he want to be in that role all the time? Of course not.
It’s also rare to have the people in your life that actually know HOW you can get to the next level. Support is one thing, strategy and execution are another.
I have a lot of support in my life, but in my business, I need another level of support if I wanted to reach another level of success. I believe THAT level of support USUALLY comes with a price tag.
Perhaps you're shaking your head at me because you’ve had life changing mentors in your life or mentored others where there was no exchange of money. I have too. It’s not that it can’t exist, I just believe it’s more rare than we think, takes a ton of time to cultivate, and finding that special relationship takes a whole lot of luck. Frankly, to find someone that both knows how to support you AND the strategy and execution needed for you to get to your next level is probably good enough to have made it into their profession. So, I believe that for true, consistent, long-term transformation, an investment is necessary.
Here is why.
When I get on the phone with my coach, I feel 0% bad about talking about myself the entire time. The time we spend together is 100% focused on me in a way that would feel unnatural and selfish if expectations weren’t clearly laid out in our professional relationship.
If I need a last minute call or text from her, I have 0 qualms about reaching out. I never feel guilty or avoid asking for help. I would find this difficult with someone who was my unofficial mentor. I would convince myself I was bothering them. I would hold back asking for help. I wouldn’t seek out their time. With my coach, it’s so crystal clear that she is there to help ME that I never hesitate or feel guilty about it. This is NOT how I am in my everyday life with really anyone else in my life. We are wired for reciprocity so unless you have a professional relationship, for most of us, we will always hold back from taking too much from others or talking too much about ourselves. This polite mentality limits how much help you seek out and accept from someone who you aren’t paying.
Let’s say you want to get in shape. You know about 20 people that can walk you through exactly what to do for a weight lifting program. Heck, you could probably come up with it yourself. But you want some help. So, you do one of two things:
Which program are you more committed and accountable too? How likely are you to miss your training days with your trainer or be late to your appointment?
I’m a really motivated person so I always figured I didn’t really need coaching for that aspect. But what I know now is that I SHOW UP DIFFERENTLY when I’ve invested in myself and my goals.
There is a seriousness that comes from deciding your goals are worth enough to get help. Mentally, you have told yourself ‘I’m no longer messing around.’.
And that, my friends, is the most powerful place you can be.
I mentor and give advice all the time. But I also have a business to run and I am completely against wasting time. And that is the problem with unofficial mentoring. I don’t always know what people are doing with my time investment. Let’s say someone asks me about starting a mental training business. Let’s say I get on the phone with a new college graduate and talk about being a mindset coach. They are not at all invested in what I’m saying, they have no commitment or investment in my advice and they well may take it or leave it. This is all fine, except that it’s not that rewarding for me.
When I have a committed, invested student. I KNOW they are showing up, doing the work, and will see success. It’s so fun and motivating for me that I can’t help but show up differently for our work together. It’s the same in coaching: You WANT to work with the hungry individuals that CANNOT get enough time in the gym with you. THAT is why we do what we do.
Interested in getting mentorship in your quest to become a Mindset Coach?
We are accepting applications for the Mindset Coach Certification this Fall, 2020. To be the first to know about this upcoming 4-month hands-on certification course, put your name on our waitlist. Those on our waitlist will be the first to know details.
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