Negative vs. Positive: Thought Discipline and The Harder Path to Self-Growth

You know what’s really easy? Being negative. You know what’s really hard? Being positive.

In sports (and beyond) we don’t really ‘get' this all the time. Sometimes, we get it a bit confused because negativity can easily be mistaken for positive attributes such as drive or resilience. 
 
I had a coach once who everyone respected. "Look how competitive he is!", they’d say, "He’s so DRIVEN!", they’d comment as he grumbled and stomped around and yelled at players.
 
Give me break. Anyone can be negative.
 
It’s not a badge of honor. It doesn’t mean you ‘want it’ more than others. All it means is that you don’t control your thoughts and you’ve learned to be driven by fear alone. Because under that negativity, under that anger is a feeling that you aren’t good enough.
 
Take the athlete that is overly hard on HERSELF. That’s easy. She beats herself up after every...
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Are You Winning or Losing (in life)?

I remember being at a wedding in my mid 20s. At the time, I was still playing professionally, living 8 months of the year abroad and getting paid to play a game I would gladly play for free. It was in many ways a dream life. It was challenging in many other ways that I won’t go into here but it was simple in one distinct way; I knew every single day if I had won or lost.

At this wedding, I was talking to a former collegiate and professional basketball player I knew, 8 months pregnant with her 3rd child. She said the hardest thing about the real world was not knowing what success really was. I understood what she meant, one of my favorite things about sports was the sometimes instant gratification of hard work or at least the instant feedback of what was working and what wasn’t.

And I see this SO much with myself and clients. When we don’t see results, and we aren’t even sure what results we are looking for, things can get confusing. After all, there...

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