The Mindset of SellingMar 01, 2021
What if you could create a business that helps people and makes money?
That gives value to others while getting paid what you’re worth; and to do all of it in a way that feels honest and empowering? Do you even believe it’s possible?
And I know that because I did it (I do it) every day.
Now, before you can say, “Well, Lindsey’s an extrovert” or “She must just really like selling” or “She has a business that sells itself”, let’s take a little walk down memory lane.
- In elementary school, I came in dead LAST selling girl scout cookies.
- I HATED fundraisers. Selling wreaths? Bleh. Walk-a-thon? Count me OUT.
- To collect my paper route money, I came up with a clever plan to save me from having to interact with my customers (I left a hand written invoice).
Trust me, this whole selling thing does not come naturally to me, and I’ve ‘failed’ more times than I can count. For years, I cold called college coaches, some who knew me, many who didn’t. I heard no from most of them. I learned that It doesn’t matter how amazing your product is, no business ‘sells itself’. To get where I am today, I had to actively put myself out there every single days in ways that were scary and uncomfortable and not at all natural.
I grew up thinking of ‘selling’ as a four letter word. And ‘asking for money’ was inherently selfish. But fast forward 12 years and now selling feels really good. Not just for me, but for the world. Because I believe in what I do. I believe in the value of what I have to offer.
Now, when I close a deal, it feels like I’m a part of something bigger than myself. It feels really good. I know I’m not curing cancer over here, but I also know that what I do has value.
So what happened in those 12 years to cause such a massive shift? I did. I happened. I went to work on my mindset. I did the deep work to get out of my own way. And I did it in a few ways:
- I took a good hard look at my limiting beliefs
- I started paying attention to (and naming) all the ways I was self-sabotaging
- I worked hard to change my mindset about selling
So I want to challenge you. If your stomach turns when you hear the word ‘selling’, instead of ignoring that and forcing yourself to do it anyway, dig into those thoughts and work on changing your core beliefs.
The reason I've been successful at being a mindset coach is because I worked on my own mindset around selling. At the end of the day: You HAVE to learn how to sell, otherwise, you'll always work for someone who CAN.
So whaddaya say? Let’s dive in.
Limiting Beliefs About Selling
When I was first starting out as a mindset coach, I heard a man speak at a conference. He had a multi million dollar mental training company, he flew around in a private jet and had influenced millions of people. He spoke about when he first started out, when he was still a teacher and a high school football coach. He went to lunch with a mentor, and as they were talking about careers, he proudly said “I’ve decided I’m going to focus on helping people, not on making money.” The mentor looked up from his cobb salad and said, “Who said you have to choose?.”
I heard this story 15 years ago and I still think about it. Because I've had these thoughts too. These thoughts can control our lives. I we don’t examine them, it’s like learning to drive in a drivers ed car. We think we are in charge but the instructor can hit the brake at any point.
When I really took a good hard look at my limiting beliefs, here’s what I found:
- Making money is inherently bad.
- People that want a lot of money are greedy.
- If I have more, others have less.
- I can either help people or make money. I can’t do both.
- Good people give this stuff away, right?
- I don’t have the education or credentials to justify charging for my services.
- What if people don’t think it’s worth the money? How embarrassing.
- I either charge nothing or I charge a lot. There’s no middle ground.
- If I charge more, some people can’t afford it. (True, but if I don’t charge enough, I can’t do it at all)
- People that have a lot of money are hoarding it for themselves.
Which of these limiting thoughts are you also holding on to?
These thoughts control our behavior. They tell us not to go for the job we really want, not to start the business, not to have the conversation. Because you want to help people. Because money is bad. Because selling is sleazy. Wait, says who?
The Truth About Selling Yourself
Whether you’re an aspiring mindset coach or a stay at home parent, the truth is, everybody is selling something. Even if it's just selling yourself as an asset, or selling your spouse on your dream.
But often, we hide what we really care about from the world. We justify it with a million limiting thoughts that creep into our psyche and make a home. And if we don’t challenge those thoughts, we use our ‘aversion to selling’ as a reason to hide our gift.
If you feel resistance to the idea of selling your services, that’s a good indicator that this is an area of your life that you need to work on.
And to all my aspiring mindset coaches out there, listen up! If you’re going to become a mindset coach and make a business out of helping people train their brain to pursue their own success, you have to be willing and able to train your own mindset in the same way. And that means learning to sell.
Getting better at selling is part of the work of being a mindset coach. You have to be a leader. You have to live this stuff. And you have to believe that it’s worth paying for.
If you can't wrap your head around selling something that you really believe in, then do you really believe in it?
5 Signs You’re Self-Sabotaging
Self-sabotage is so sneaky. And it originates in your very own brain which knows you better than anyone else. It knows how to fool you into thinking you’re making moves and being brave and taking strides toward your goal while secretly keeping you in your warm and fuzzy comfort zone.
Even after I took the leap and started my business. Even after I made the commitment to myself that I would learn to sell, my sneaky brain got the best of me (it still does sometimes!).
Watch out for these classic signs of self-sabotage
- Working on your website or business cards instead of calling a lead.
- Reaching out to strangers before people you know - Rejection hurts less if it comes from someone you don’t know.
- Thinking you need that degree or credential before you can charge for your services.
- Doing pro-bono work - You’re devaluing your time and the industry as a whole. There are *some* exceptions (i.e. It leads to valuable case studies, paid work, if it’s explicitly for charity, etc.).
- Obsessing over the idea that your message has to be 100% unique (it doesn’t). And quite frankly, it won’t be. What really makes it unique is you.
8 Ways to Change Your Mindset of Selling
1. Challenge Your Money Mindset
What were you taught about money growing up? Write down those beliefs then think about how they’re impacting the way you feel about selling today.
Ask yourself 3 questions for each limiting thought:
- Is it true?
- Is it absolutely true?
- What evidence do I have that it’s not true?
2. Sell Yourself First
Sell yourself on the value of what you’re selling. If you believe it deep down, you’ll feel excited to offer it to others. And sell yourself on your own dreams; know your worth and make the choice to bet on yourself.
3. Change the Way You Think About Selling
Selling isn’t a 4 letter word. Why? Because you’re not selling something that people don’t need. You’re giving them the opportunity to invest in something that will have an endless positive impact on their lives. It’s the greatest gift you can give.
4. Adopt an Abundant Mindset
When you operate under the assumption that money is scarce, you’ll feel guilty every time you make a sale. But when you adopt the belief that money is not finite, and that there is no glory in ‘just scraping by’ your whole life, you’ll find freedom and endless possibilities.
5. Take Your Ego Out of It
It’s easy to take rejection personally and to see it as a ‘sign’ you’re not cut out for this. But when you make selling about your own ego, you rob the world of hearing your message. There's someone out there that needs to hear it. Putting your gift out into the world is a selfless and meaningful act.
And if you’re an aspiring mindset coach, let me make something very clear: There is a NEED for mindset coaches. This stuff is life-changing and has the power to help people and help all the people those people influence. As they say, a rising tide lifts all boats.
6. Practice What You Teach
The more you work on your own mindset and live fearlessly, the more you'll believe in what you're selling and the more you'll set an example of what’s possible.
7. Have a Growth Mentality
It’s not that you’re either good at selling or not good at selling. Really, that’s the same as telling a 5 year old he’s bad at football. That would be ridiculous. No, you just haven’t had the chance to build this muscle.
Remember, you perpetuate stories based on what you believe about yourself, and you self-sabotage accordingly. You are a student, not a failure.
8. Stop Trying to Please Everybody
Let the YES ring louder than the no. 99% of people don’t care about what you have to say. But for that 1% of people, your unique message is the life changing story they need to hear. Focus on reaching that 1%, and taking action will become easier.
As with any mindset work, working on your mindset of selling is not an easy fix, it’s a daily practice. But I promise you, the days of torturing yourself over one awkward phone call, of hiding behind your keyboard and breaking into a cold sweat anytime someone asks you for a quote, those days won’t last forever.
When you work on your mindset of selling, everything gets easier. Believe it or not, someday you might even find yourself excited to sell (gasp!).
And if you’re an aspiring mindset coach, we are excited to help you overcome your limiting thoughts, step into your next-level self, and launch your own mindset coaching business in our upcoming Mindset Coach Academy Certification!
Here’s the course breakdown:
- Month 1: Coach Yourself - You’ll do the deep inner work and build the daily and weekly habits to empower yourself in every area of your life.
- Month 2: Performance Visualization Specialist - You’ll learn to design custom visualizations for clients, and assign client work according to their needs.
- Month 3: Applied Practice - Take our methods into the world, create your own techniques, and start working with REAL clients and making real change.
- Month 4: Take Your Gift to the World - Package and price your services, and create opportunities around you to build a profitable, passion-filled mindset coaching business.
Note: Applications for the Mindset Coach Certification are currently closed. To be the first to know when the doors open for the next cohort of our 4-month hands-on certification course, join our waitlist.
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