Why Would I Want to Stick Out More by Being the Best? (Advice for Coaching Women Part 1).

Why would I want to stick out MORE by being the best?” 

....Said no man EVER (okay I’m exaggerating).

But if you coach women, you know what I’m talking about. Your female athletes don’t necessarily say this out loud, but their subconscious brain is SCREAMING it at them daily.

You see it in their performance; they play down to their teammates, don't take the last shot even though they are most likely to make it (is it fear of failure or fear of success?), don't score ‘too much’, play a great game or great half and then self-sabotage by playing down to a lower level of performance.

I know a little bit about this. I always wanted to be the best. And yet even I felt at a very young age the social COST of being the best. And it made me change my performance.

I stuck out on my high school team, I was from a different part of town, I was higher socioeconomically than many of my teammates, I was the arguably the best player as a...

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Are Your Players Too Nice? (Advice for Coaching Women Part 2)

In my opinion, one of the great joys of playing sports is that I can let out my inner bitch without apologizing. (and please don’t email me about using the word bitch… it’s the word that resonates with me.)

But it is an interesting thing isn’t it... when you really think about it? 

We are allowed to be rough and aggressive and competitive in a way that isn’t necessarily socially acceptable in everyday life (and dare I say for women in particular). Sports is this pure area that allows us to be free from being ‘nice’, even as we teach sportsmanship and leadership and all those other great attributes.

I get that. YOU get that. But do your ATHLETES get that?

Often times women still pay a price for being aggressive on the playing field, or they perceive that there will be a cost.

So many don’t take advantage of this safe space to let it all go. Whether it’s because they are nice ‘Christian girls’ (as one coach told...

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Why Reframing Fear is One of Your Most Powerful Coaching Tools

You know the feeling. Your hands are sweaty. Your stomach is in knots and you may or may not have to pee like 5 times. Your heart is racing, and you cannot wait for this feeling to go away.

Logically, you know you are not in danger. It’s just a job interview, first date, game, public speaking, or difficult conversation. But your brain isn’t really listening to that argument. Yes, you are safe, but you just don’t feel like it.

Ahhh the fight or flight response. That glorious, automatic reaction of our sympathetic nervous system that has kept our species alive for 200,000 years (give or take). The response that works beautifully when necessary, but inconveniently comes to visit during seemingly innocuous situations like first dates or presentations.

We’ve all been there. And for most of us, we want to stop feeling that way immediately.

Our bodies are literally screaming at us to rectify the situation, change SOMETHING.

But what if the thing we really...

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Are You Doing This DAILY (and with detail)? The Importance of Visualization

"I’ve been visualizing ever since I was 12 or 13 when my amazing mother introduced me to it," Bianca Andreescu said. "I find it very helpful ... I believe we create our reality with our mind."

No big deal, she just won the U.S. Open at 19 years old, defeating 23 time Grand Slam winner Serena Williams.

YOU know visualization is a powerful mental training tool for athletes. You may already be implementing it with your team, maybe by utilizing our popular BRAVR™ Method.

But I want to take a moment and REALLY talk about visualization. 

In my humble opinion, visualization is the single best tool for getting your subconscious brain aligned with what you are working toward. When you fail to do this, hard work doesn't mean as much as it should. You can easily work and work and work and self-sabotage every step of the way without even knowing it.

That’s why, when I work with athletes, I teach them to visualize. When I work with mindset...

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Negative vs. Positive: Thought Discipline and The Harder Path to Self-Growth

You know what’s really easy? Being negative. You know what’s really hard? Being positive.

In sports (and beyond) we don’t really ‘get' this all the time. Sometimes, we get it a bit confused because negativity can easily be mistaken for positive attributes such as drive or resilience. 
 
I had a coach once who everyone respected. "Look how competitive he is!", they’d say, "He’s so DRIVEN!", they’d comment as he grumbled and stomped around and yelled at players.
 
Give me break. Anyone can be negative.
 
It’s not a badge of honor. It doesn’t mean you ‘want it’ more than others. All it means is that you don’t control your thoughts and you’ve learned to be driven by fear alone. Because under that negativity, under that anger is a feeling that you aren’t good enough.
 
Take the athlete that is overly hard on HERSELF. That’s easy. She beats herself up after every...
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