Stacey 00:00
I would spend four hours in my driveway trying to be Magic Johnson, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Michael Jordan, all in one person. So I believe that champions are made when nobody's watching. But I also would say confidence comes from me from demonstrated ability.
Lindsey 00:29
I want to tell you real quick, that in mid-February, February 16 applications open, and they only open one time a year, for our certification program, so if you've ever been interested in being a Mindset Coach, this is your path forward in the form of dual certification programs, applications open February 16. All right.
Now, today we have a very special guest. Stacey Dales, Stacey is currently a sideline reporter for the NFL Network. If you're a football fan, I'm sure you have seen her she does amazing work in that realm.
But she also has a very interesting sports history. I met Stacey, but about 20 years ago. We became fast friends, but we were also opponents. I played at Iowa State and she was at Oklahoma. And you just meet those people, and you just see eye to eye. We were friends all through our 20s and got busy with our careers and things and talked here and there and just a lovely, lovely person. I know you're gonna enjoy this interview. She's such an amazing person, just a competitor, she's a success-driven person that also has such great insight into doing it the right way.
And I’ll tell you a little bit about her history as an athlete, she was and Olympian. She played for the Canadian national team and prior to that she played at Oklahoma. She was an All-American there. They played in the National Championship game against Connecticut. She had all the awards, I mean, just on and on, Big 12 player of the year. All these things and then she got drafted third, into the WNBA, and had a great career in the WNBA and then started reporting. She was with ESPN, the NFL network and againshe’s justa lovely person. Without further ado Stacey Dales.
Lindsey 02:34
All right, let's do this. Hi, Stacey Dales. So nice to have you on the podcast.
Stacey 02:38
Well, it's great to be with you old friends because we go way back to our big 12 days. I didn’t get to play against you as much as I wanted to, but we just have a short stint in the WNBA in our pro basketball careers and got to know each other and you're just a phenomenal person. So I'm happy to be with you right now.
Lindsey 02:59
Oh, thanks, Stacey I could say the same to you. I don't know what else to tell you. I've already told you this. But I think listeners, I did a whole bio to open up the podcast. But I told you my brother came over the other day and was like, I have 3 kids so I rarely get to watch. Although last weekend with the NFL playoffs football was on the entire weekend. But I don't get to see you as much as I would like to. Every once in a while I do.
But my brother who was a big sports fan. He came over and he was like, Man your friends Stacey Dales she is just, and she does not go on and on about people, she is just so smart and articulate. And she's so good on camera. And I was like, yeah, no, she's frickin awesome. She's a badass, she's a badass, and everything that she does. It's so cool.
Stacey 03:35
Well, that's flattery. I already love him. And next time he's going to do the pod with us.
Lindsey 03:41
There you go. Alright, let's get right into it because I know you have a busy day, we've been trying to get a hold of trying to connect our schedules all day. I think one of the things that I love having athletes on is you're such a badass in an NFL reporting and being a journalist, but you really honed those skills as an athlete. I want to hear about like, kind of like the thread of what is your mindset philosophy? Like what did you do actually, as an athlete, I mean, you were in the national championship game you played in the WNBA? Like you're in the Olympics, like, When you’re talking about The mindset of performance, which I imagine you use those today. Interviewing Tom Brady, or whatever it is that you have to do, how does that Stacey Dale's mindset, how has it helped you? What are the things you've honed over the years that is kind of been the common thread? Through sports and reporting?
Stacey 04:34
Yeah. So I've also learned a lot over the years. I think that should be said because I was just on a zoom call with Aaron Rodgers. And I've been blessed to be able to cover some extraordinary people along the way. So I've learned from those experiences in my coverage and my job. But I think those are evolutionary parts of me whereas being an athlete 20 years ago, and not to age myself that much. But as an athlete, some of the things even then 20 years ago, a couple of decades ago, I'm still doing now they're just more refined and more enhanced in a completely different realm.
What do I mean by that, I believe the champions are made when nobody's watching. And I think back to when I was 17, 18, and 19 years old, I was the kind of kid that wanted to be in the gym by myself. Not for lack of wanting teammates, but for the drive, and directive to craft and cultivate things that I could envision that I didn't necessarily think anybody else could see. So I would spend hours doing things in the gym by myself in my driveway, when it was the middle of winter in Canada, I would spend four hours in my driveway trying to be Magic Johnson, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Michael Jordan, all in one person.
So I believe that champions are made when nobody's watching. But I also would say competence comes from me from demonstrated ability. So people think confidence comes from big moments. And that could be true, because you could be in a big moment in life, and excel, and then the next time you do it, it's more normal, and it's easier. But it's also the demonstration of doing things when nobody's watching, and trusting those instincts in that time. And so that's kind of how I go about my business now, with humility, as a professional in television and journalism. I don't know if that kind of makes sense. I think it would for somebody like you who's been such a high achiever through life as well.
But it really is in the journey in the footsteps. And they're not always right. And I think embracing the times when they're not, is as important as the times when they're great. Because failure really is a tool for, I would say just complete growth in so many ways.
Lindsey 07:04
I think so much of what, performance mindset or high-performance mindset, or mindset, training, whatever you want to call what I do, and what you've done in your career, there's so much around fear and a particular fear of performance in performance, and you've done it at such a high level. And I think, you know, not a lot of people will have done it at the level you did in the sports arena, but then didn't do it so publicly, in your post-athletic career. And I want to talk about that, that fear and how you deal with it and maybe some tricks or tips, you know, I don't think they taught you along the way or if just Stacey Dales figured it out.
But like when you're going into the Final Four, or you're going into coverage of the Superbowl or you're going to, you know, to interview someone that's supposedly really intimidating, or I know we talked about earlier, like when you were put on game day at the NFL Network, and you've never done that before, like, how do you deal with? And then I think the second part of that is a failure. I want to talk about second, but how do you deal with fear?
Stacey 08:16
It's a real thing. And the first says, I believe, embrace it because it's so real. So some of those moments you mentioned, jumped being thrust into game day morning, never hosted a video show my life is terrifying. You can feel the anxiety coming up, you can feel the pressure mounting. But it goes back to the very thing I shared with you. The process is everything. By the time you get to your moment, your fears are mitigated because you've done everything necessary to prepare yourself for that moment.
So as an example, when I'm preparing for a game during the week, so Football Sunday, I’m covering this week and covering the 40 Niners and the Packers in the NFC divisional round in their respective pool. And I am doing all of the nitty-gritty stuff. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I will have all of my work finished by Thursday to give myself a grace day for new information on Friday. I'll be ready for the games on Saturday. The game is on Saturday. So if you said to me, all right. Stace you forgot your notes. You forgot everything. What are you gonna do? I would tell you, perfect because it's all right here banked, because I've done the preparation, which mitigates the fear.
You embrace fear and understand that it may come but prepare yourself to mitigate it by taking the steps necessary to get there. And by the time I get to the performance whether it's me or it's you with a huge speaking engagement or an orchestra. They've already put in those final sorts of tunes if you will, and updates to what they do before they get to the stage. And by the time they get there, they can do it without looking at their notes, they can do it very naturally. And that's to me how to mitigate fear. It's not that it's not ever going to come up for you, it's going to be there. But swallow it, embrace it, breathe through it, and know that you've put in all the stuff that is necessary to be great at that moment. You'll know fear is real if you haven't done all those previous steps.
Lindsey 10:46
I love that I was just talking on my pod, I do mental, like five-minute podcasts and we're talking about admitting that fear is gonna happen, making them normal part of life and understanding that as part of growth, and then really taking that action, which I think is what you're talking about is like, fear grows, when we don't take action when we just wait. It just feeds it inaction leads to fear. And I think that what you're talking about is just working yourself through it.
Do you have any rituals or routines that help you? I mean, do you have, I’m sure you did as an athlete? But now you're getting ready for Saturday's games or Sunday's games? Like, is there anything that you do that sort of gets you ready?
Stacey 11:27
Yeah, there's lots of stuff I do. Physical exercise is critical for me. I'm a big pelotoner.ou have to find something to create balance and to eliminate that energy. The energy that’s unwanted. So that's one thing. From a job standpoint, I'm pretty old school, I still transcribe all of my own interviews. There are tools out there now technological tools, they're people, you can hire, I do all my own transcription. So I'll have a book by game day.
But by transcribing it myself, I learned the language. And I learned the tone. And as an athlete, it's important to understand, a former athlete, to understand the momentum and energy of a locker room. And so as I listened to the interviews, whether they're via zoom with the team a pressor or something, I've done individually or one on one. I listened to them, but I transcribed them. So I put those words down. And as I put them down, my stories come to life.
And by the time I get to Sunday or Saturday, the stories are there, so the simple ritual is transcribing my own material is importantI still do it. And I've done it for a long time. And it's basic stuff, like, I mean, talk about journalism 101, but a lot of people don't do it anymore. And I think that it enabls you to be a natural storyteller and to put yourself in the shoes of that team's locker room. And that's what I aim for. And I think part of my athletic background is a reflection of that.
Lindsey 13:02
Well, I mean, it goes back to, you probably had something as an athlete, you made 100 shots at the shoot around the morning of the game, or shot 10 free throws, or whatever, like we get in the habit of doing those very basic things that give us the confidence, like, we know how to do this, right?
Stacey 13:19
Oh, there's no question. I mean, we all have our little idiosyncrasies as athletes. I mean whatever they are, whatever, however, they get you in that zone, I think is really cool. But, I don't think I'm right on everything. I think that you need to find what works for you. But you have to be willing to do that work. And if you're not, it's not going anywhere. I think the thing that would help with that, as is who you are as a person, right? As you get older and you evolve in your career. Are you a good person? Are you leading with kindness in every walk of your profession? Do you have the right intentions? Are you surrounding yourself with the right people? Where is that energy living? Especially when you consider some of the obstacles that you may have at work.
Lindsey 14:14
So there's a lot that goes into it and a lot. I believe there are so many prongs to it all. But you and I have talked about too, this the idea of self-sabotage. Because, one of the interesting things, we are all leaders, even people that are followers are leaders because if you don't lead yourself who's going to? If you don't lead yourself to follow that person, meaning get yourself out of bed, make sure you're on time, be punctual this and that. You lead yourself. And so we've talked about podcasts that I listened to and you listened to and I'm a big fan of the John Maxwell podcast, that leadership podcast and he literally talks about how leaders self-sabotage and there are 10. And I would encourage people watching just to go back and look at them because there are so many things that we do to counteract our level of achievement or success. And once you kind of can see those things and have awareness around them, you can start to come out of those holes where the fear lives.
Well, I think I'm sure a lot of people look at your career and think you were, you were performing at such a high level. And I think when, when people are there, it often becomes easy to think that I don't need to have it all figured out. Like they're the smartest person in the world, but that you don't do these things. Or you're not constantly battling the same thing that you battled as a 17-year-old going into Oklahoma, right? But it's like the same stuff comes up.
So I'm wondering how you, it's one thing to get to that level. And it's another thing to stay there, right, especially as a woman, like, what do you see in yourself that you have to work on? And especially when you get knocked down, right? We're moving into like this idea of failure? Like, what are the things that you're working on, or do you think are the biggest things for people when it comes to self-sabotage? And especially when you get knocked down with failure?
Stacey 16:19
Oh, it's such a hard question. So hard to answer in just a couple of minutes. I don't ever think we should expect failure. But we should know that it's coming at some point. And for me that is the mental space that I live in, I don't expect to fail, I expect to be the best. And I expect to be extraordinary at whatever it is that I'm doing while I'm doing it. But sometimes your expectations can pollute your ability to handle when the expectation isn't met.
And I kind of go on that calculus or that formula, I expect greatness. But I'm also mindful and rational, that maybe it's not going to be perfect. And by stripping and eliminating perfection, I temper my expectations. I used to be a perfectionist, I used to be, and still, there are parts of me in life that want to be a perfectionist. But I temper that by understanding that it's not possible to be perfect.
So, for instance, if I do just a basic report, and I can tape it, and it's gonna go on to show later on in the day, and I tape that report with the intention of perfecting it. It's not going to be me, I would rather have a little glitch in there. Maybe pause for a little bit longer on one point. Because by trying to perfect it is going to appear that way. And that's to me is inauthentic. So disingenuous. So I just think for me, it's been learning to live with flaws and learning to live with high expectations, but also realistic expectations that it isn't going to be perfect.
Because imperfection could be deemed a failure. And I don't think we ever fully fail. Maybe sometimes there's, you feel like you've maybe hit rock bottom, maybe that's a complete failure. But if you can't look at imperfection in what you do and say, I can work on that a little bit more. How do you think the greats got to where they are. They were unrelenting in their pursuit of achievement. And they were able to perfect small things along the way. But they were never satisfied. Tom Brady is still playing football. How many Super Bowls does he have? He is still chasing being better. And that means there was something that was imperfect there. Which you could argue that guy's perfect. But he's still chasing greatness, which means it hasn't been just perfect enough. Maybe there's more there, which is really impressive and extraordinary.
Lindsey 19:14
Absolutely. Don't you feel like that's, I mean, you already alluded to it being the same in sports, but as an athlete, did you ever feel that, I mean what I see a lot with athletes is the drive for the perfectionist, the drive to be great, really gets them to another level. And that's often a critical piece to people being successful.
And yet when they're on the court, or the playing field, being able to let go and not trying to be perfect. I mean, the difference between playing scared and going for it. I feel like you were so good at going forward and having that high level of expectations. I’m not exactly sure what the question is except that I just see so many parallels to what you just said.
Stacey 20:05
I think what you're just telling me is we overcomplicate things. We just so overcomplicate them. Simplicity is the easiest way. It doesn't mean you don't work at it, it doesn't mean you don't work hard. But when you simplify things, you take away a level of stress, and the inability to control everything. Because I think by nature, like in life, we're control freaks, we want to play on a team you are point guard, you better not get out of position, I'm gonna yell at you, you're like if you can just simplify everything. And understand, here's what makes me good.
Here's my process, what I do during the week to be successful at my job. By sticking to that simple guideline, whatever that formula is for you, enables you to go and perform. And when we overcomplicate it, when teams struggle, when you see teams that are completely dysfunctional and discombobulated, many times to me, they're just completely complicating the situation. They're not taking the people they have and saying, How can we make this work? If you are given a room full of five people, and you had to do a project with them? The first thing that I would do is I would try to find out individually what are your strengths? What are you good at? What are you good at? Oh, you're good with the hammer, you're good with the drill, okay, I'm gonna put the hammer in your hands and put the drill in your hands. And the wood, those four, there's my carpenter right there. Let's come together with these ideas. Understanding these are what you're good at, which is role definition.
And so when you say that to me, simplify it. Don't overcomplicate things, look at what your strengths are, and build on those and try to just tap away at what those maybe aren't so strong things about you are that you can blend them in and make them work in the flow of what you're doing.
Lindsey 22:12
Yeah, I think you're on so many great teams. And I know you did that fairly effortlessly with a lot of your teammates. A little bit of a segue. But I think it's something that's really, really important and isn't talked about enough is joy. Like, you are such a passionate player. And something I always loved about you. We also talked shit to each other a little bit in a fun way. But also like now, like you are working so hard today, you know, like, I know how busy you are today. Appreciate your time.
What's bringing you joy, about your job, like what is, what are the moments that are, I mean, clearly being around sports must be really fun, but what brings you like pure joy?
Stacey 22:52
Learning, learning from the people I cover and study. Telling their stories with authenticity and humility and integrity. Being integral in what I do. Doing it the right way. That brings me a lot of joy. I've covered some amazing athletes again, very humbly over the years. And I want to make sure I tell their story integrally, with the dignity that they've given it to me. And that's another reason I transcribe because I don't want to ever misquote somebody. So that brings me joy.
Being a woman that what I do brings me a lot of pride. Because it's not easy for women. It just isn't. And it has been quite a journey. But I am very proud to be one of X amount of women that get to do what I do and do it in a powerful way and I hope there's a little gal out there watching that thinks that she could do that. I'm at a stage in my career where I get asked for advice or help, ya know journalism tips, whatever.
And it's very flattering to be receiving those because I hoped somebody would help me like that when I was in my 20s. And now all these years later, it's very humbling when people ask you, how do you do this report? Or how were you able to strategize this, or how did you build that relationship? And, it's funny in life, it always comes back to relationships, how you treat others. And I think when you're young, you can go through it. Maybe a little bit like, oblivious to who you are in your 20s. Right. None of us really know. And then you get to your 30s and you’re starting to have a better appreciation, but you're still not there. And then you can kind of get to your 40s and I made that mistake and I own it. And I did this and I own it and I made that choice and it was great. And now you're a little bit more reflective. And that's where your work becomes really refined. And the moments may get bigger and you hope they do. But they're never too big for you because you've put all that work in.
Lindsey 25:15
Yeah. Two final questions. What's one simple thing that you would tell your younger self? Or someone that is really searching for success? From a mindset standpoint 0r otherwise. What's one thing that you think that they should do or that you would tell someone to do, implement in their daily life?
Stacey 25:34
Be early, be early always. Be early to the meeting, and be early to practice. Be early on the assignment, meaning if the assignment is due on Monday, have it done Saturday, I have a two-day rule. The assignment is due Sunday. The game is Sunday. Has the work been done Friday? Yeah. So the early because it just afforded us so much more peace of mind. To do that. I would say, be a good person, but it's hard to teach kindness. So people either have it or they don't, hopefully, they have it. Because that helps you through a lot of down periods of time.
And I would just say, I would ask a question, what are you doing when nobody's watching? If you can live with the answer, if you say you want to be a great athlete, you say you want to be the number one team in America and be ranked in the top 25. What are you doing when nobody's watching? If you are okay with that answer, and you can justify it and understand that it's right, then you're right on track.
Lindsey 26:52
One question, what is the next area of personal growth for Stacey Dales?
Stacey 26:56
Oh, gosh. I don't, I would say … it's a hard question because I think I'm always ready for something new. And I love what I do. But the next area of growth would be another opportunity, a big opportunity, in addition to the one that I have that I've loved and cultivated for the NFL, I just adore it, and hopefully can build on that in some unique way. I just think, I really believe in the universe. And I believe in the power of the universe. And so I don't know how to answer that. I just think that the journey will take me there.
But as far as personal growth, just always, for me, it's reminding myself to be a little bit easier on myself. Because I do want more and more to achieve more and more. And that can get exhausting. And so you've got to be really careful about not burning out. And the flame flickering out because you went a little too hard.
Lindsey 27:58
Yeah. Well, I know you've got a really busy schedule so I’m going to let you go, Stacey, you're such a badass, I can't wait to have my daughters watching you on TV. So there'll be those little girls that are watching you. And I just appreciate your candor and your vulnerability, you have always been so honest. And I know you're paving the way for so many women in all different arenas, but certainly in journalism, and in a very competitive arena. And I appreciate you taking the time. I know you're so so busy today.
Stacey 28:23
I adore you. So thank you for having me. I love the work you've been doing. One of the things that impresses me so much about you Linds is you had a mission all those years ago, and you have built the mission. And the mission is continuing to ascend and you're unrelenting in your pursuit and I just admire that it's inspiring so thanks for having me. I can't wait to do it again. Your brother better be on next time.
Lindsey 28:49
Let's do it. You're inspiring me, I can't wait to talk again. Thank you so much, Stacey Dales. Thank you.
So there you have it guys, wasn't she awesome? I just, every time I get to talk to Stacy whether that's from a social standpoint or work, just sitting down and having a conversation with her she set leading such an interesting and successful life. But she has that ability to be introspective and look at her own growth and the places she wants to challenge herself. I love that in anybody but certainly with Stacey it’s pretty special because I’ve known her for so long. I hope you enjoyed that interview as much as I enjoyed doing it. Hopefully, we'll hear more from Stacey, and of course you can see her, although this may be after Superbowl but she is all over the NFL and for good reason, she is blazing trails for females in that profession. So go Stacey. Alright guys, as I talked about earlier the certification applications are now open. The link is in the show notes. So I hope you'll join us for that. What else? Oh, if you liked this podcast please share it with a friend. Leave a review. They really do help and I know sometimes you think I'm talking to somebody else but I’m actually talking to you. Appreciate all the love on Instagram. I'm @lindseypositiveperform and if you liked this show you can post it over there too. Alright guys, have a great day and we will see you soon. Bye
