Byron Morrison 00:00
So a way of questioning that I love using is just like, Okay, if that's the worst case scenario, this is what you're building up your mind, it's gonna go wrong. If you flip it, what's the best-case scenario?
Byron Morrison 00:10
Let's say you try, you get amazing results, everything works out, and you then have a 90-day comparison between what could go wrong that you're thinking what could go right? And then ask yourself what's most likely, because when you then bring it into a middle ground, and you see, okay, even if I go for this, and it goes wrong, this may happen.
Byron Morrison 00:28
And it's not that big a deal, becomes so much easier to actually face it. So it's all about again, slowing down and processing what's happening, and understanding the situation for what it is.
Welcome to the Mindset Coach Academy Podcast. I'm Lindsey Wilson. And I am a high-performance mindset coach, a mom, a former professional athlete and an entrepreneur. I help coaches and high performers optimize their mindset to improve their coaching, their performance, and those of their athletes and their lives. Here, you'll learn all about mindset, how to live it, how to teach it, and how to sell it.
Hi, guys, Lindsey here. Welcome back to the Mindset Coach Academy podcast, I just got to sit down with Byron Morrison, we just had a great chat, guys, you know, I love to nerd out on mindset and high performance and personal growth.
And he just wrote this really cool book called maybe you should give up and it really is sort of like trying to help people see the ways that they've been self-sabotaging, or the obstacles or the blocks that they've had towards their next level, best self. And we break it down into seven things.
Now, the way that I think this episode is gonna be helpful for you is really focusing on like, the two or three that we talked about that may be either triggering for you, or you just know, that's the area that you need to work on.
That's how I would use it, I would think of all seven, and listen to all seven. And I would think that the two or three that you can maybe even take some action on, we all have those things that are like the big barriers for us.
And then for those of you that are mindset and high-performance coaches, or sports coaches, or parents or teachers, the young people that you influence, thinking about the seven ways and really thinking about the top two or three that may be most helpful, most of the time for the people that you influence. All right, guys, Byron Morrison.
Hi all and welcome to the Mindset Coach Academy podcast today we have a very special guest and Byron Morrison, is the author of "Maybe you should give up". And he's gonna be talking to us about seven ways that we can learn how to harness our power and get to our goals faster, and stop self-sabotaging. Welcome, Byron.
Byron Morrison 02:57
Hey, thanks for having me today.
Yeah, excited to get to talk to you and get to know you a little bit better.
Tell us a little bit about yourself. And then I really want to get into this book and get right into the seven ways.
Byron Morrison 03:08
Yes, sure. So as you said, my name is Byron Morrison. I'm a mindset performance coach. And for the last decade, I've worked with everything from CEOs to entrepreneurs and business leaders in 15 different countries, to really help them uplevel their way of thinking and performance so that they can break through to the next level.
Byron Morrison 03:25
I've also written three best-selling books, and my new book, maybe you should give up is just about to be released as well.
Well, the title tells a little about the book.
Byron Morrison 03:35
So for me, a lot of the self-help and mindset and personal development world is all spreading this message that you have to keep pushing and to never quit. And I find so many people, that is the actual reason why they're stuck.
Byron Morrison 03:48
They're holding onto things, whether it's strategies, beliefs, or processes, and doing them over and over again, North recognizing that's what's getting in their way. So with the book, I wanted to throw the rulebook out, I wanted to really twist it on its head and really look at what are the things that are holding us back from actually living the life that we want.
Byron Morrison 04:06
And I discovered that seven bigger areas and mental blocks that every single person in one way or another is holding onto that are stopping them from actually reaching their potential.
Byron Morrison 04:15
So the books are all about taking readers on a journey to get out of their own way so that they can actually take control of their life. So it's all about giving up on all those things that are weighing us down, and really stopping us from actually reaching our potential.
Love it, love it. Well, I want to get into the seven ways. So people listening, a lot of them are sports coaches, mindset coaches, mental performance coaches, a lot of them are coaching, working, balancing it all. Maybe a parent's former, you know, working with athletes, like they're all in that like very driven, high performing, high achieving mindset.
And we always like to work with our clients and our students as you know, working on themselves first and So what in the student chair and then also how they're going to do this with leading and influencing other people, whether that's their athletes or their kids or their students or whatever?
Take us through the seven steps with that in mind, if you don't mind, what do maybe coach me through this, right? Like, I'm a parent, I'm a CEO. I'm always trying to push and I'm always trying to work on my mindset, what are the seven things that I or any of our listeners need to be watching out for?
Byron Morrison 05:28
So the first one, and probably the biggest one is living your life in a state of reaction. This is for most of us, we're busy, whether it's with careers, families of fires, in your business, or all of these things going on, it's so easy to be stuck in a place where life is happening to you.
Byron Morrison 05:43
When you're in that reactive state, a lot of the time the choices you make the actions you take, all of that's driven by emotion. And there's no way you can show up at your best or really perform at the level you need to when you're constantly in that high-stress state. So that's why the first thing we have to give up on is being reactive to the world around you. The second one is being controlled by fear.
I'm gonna throw you off because you probably have these seven in your life, same in your sleep. So I apologize, but tell me like, okay, so like, What's one thing with that? I love that they reacting, not there being proactive, not reacting. What's like one actionable thing? I mean, I love action, or listeners love action, like what's one little tip?
Byron Morrison 06:27
So one thing I do with all my clients, anyone listening to this can do it with that client and themselves as well is becoming aware of the way that you actually react throughout the day.
Byron Morrison 06:36
Because the reality is, there's a huge difference between a reaction and a response. And the reaction is impulsive. It's fueled by emotion, whereas a response is calculated and controlled. And this is why if you want to get out of a reactive state, you have to break that cycle of just dealing with situations as they come up.
Byron Morrison 06:53
And you have to force yourself to stop to slow down and process what's happening, and then choose how you respond to it. So the way I always coach and guide people through this is whenever you find your emotions taking over, let's say you're feeling stressed, you're angry, you're overwhelmed, you're frustrated, annoyed, whatever that negative emotional state is, you have to force yourself to stop, you then need to focus on taking some deep breaths to calm yourself down.
Byron Morrison 07:18
The reason being is when your emotions go up, your blood pressure increases, and your cortisol levels go up. And there's no way you can think clearly or make the right decision says. So by forcing yourself to slow down and breathe, you're going to lower those levels so that you can feel grounded. And then it's all about asking yourself, okay, why am I feeling this way?
Byron Morrison 07:36
What's going on to trigger this emotion? Why am I reacting this way? What do I then need to do to get this under control? So it's all about shifting your focus from the problem and what's gone wrong to what you need to do about it going forward. Because for a lot of people, because they're so driven by emotion, they can't actually see clearly here.
Byron Morrison 07:54
And this is why it's all about forcing you to stop and understand what's happening. I'll give you a real-world example of this up. I was on the train a few months ago, and there was a group of kids who have sat across from me and they were screaming and shouting and truth be told us on the edge of my seat just getting beyond the noise that they wouldn't shut up.
Byron Morrison 08:11
And then I realized that I was completely being reactive to what they were doing. They weren't annoying me, I was choosing to get annoyed by what was going on.
Byron Morrison 08:19
There was only when I recognized and brought into my awareness, then I could see, okay, what solutions do I have here, I could look out the window, I could turn on my music, I could focus on my work, I could move seats, all of these things were brought into my consciousness that allowed me to get under control with for most people, they just get first caught at the first hurdle, whether its road rage, whether it's a problem with their spouse, whether it's a kid something going on in life, they're just focusing on the problem.
And that's why they can't see the solution. So it's all about you breaking that reactive cycle by slowing down, processing what's happening, and then changing your response. Well, I love I thought it's and I just know, so many of our listeners are going to resonate with this, like that ability to not only come up with a solution but come up with creative solutions that aren't available when we're in that reactive sense.
You know, it's like there's only one solution, and that is for everybody to shut the hell up. You know, like, you just don't have that capacity to think of all of the different options available to you when you're in that reactive state. And I love that reaction versus response. I think that's brilliant. All right, number two.
Byron Morrison 09:28
So number two is all about fear. Because if you every new level of success is going to require you to come over overcoming obstacles that are standing in your way. And a lot of the time those obstacles are the thoughts in your head. It's like what if you put yourself out there and you fail?
Byron Morrison 09:43
What if you rejected what if you're not good enough? So many people this can keep them paralyzed and stuck and stop them from taking action? So it's all about recognizing, okay, why do you have that story in your head? What's going on? Yeah, that's causing you to avoid and procrastinate over the actions you know that you need to take.
Byron Morrison 10:00
I'm sure people listening to this now, whether they're working with athletes or clients, whatever it is, one of the biggest challenges in getting your clients results is actually getting them to follow through. Because for whatever reason people tend to sabotage themselves.
Byron Morrison 10:15
Whether it's avoiding getting their training in, whether it's avoiding following through with tasks, it's one of those mental blocks that keep people stuck. So it's really coming in to get developing that awareness of why are you thinking that way. What is it that's actually holding you back and preventing you from following through?
I noticed for, we talked about it a lot in our certification, like the ability for I will say, like, the brain is good at two things. It's really good at keeping us safe. Or sorry, it's, it's good at one thing and not good at another, it's good at keeping us safe, it's not good at distinguishing what's actually dangerous and what and what is it like in a real sense, right?
How do you help people distinct or even, like become aware of these, like, deep-seated fears that maybe aren't rational, but are, essentially what you're saying is like, they're the ones that are sort of in the driver's seat, right? Like, how do you help people become more aware even if those thoughts are there?
Byron Morrison 11:10
The first thing is understanding why it's actually going on. I talked about this in the introduction of the book, just to give a brief overview. So anyone listening understands, it's like your brain has been wired for a quantity of life.
Byron Morrison 11:21
And what that means is it's been programmed in a way that it wants to survive, it doesn't want to thrive, and wants to keep everything the same, the same types of relationships, the same amount of weight on your body, the same amount of wealth, happiness, and joy, and wants to keep everything the same, because everything in your past has been survived. Meaning it's far safer than anything new. It's all of your goals, your dreams, and your aspirations, they bring with them inherent risks.
Byron Morrison 11:45
So this is why I don't fill your head with all of these doubts. And these fears stop you from taking action. And this is why if you want to think at a higher level, you have to start recognizing when your thoughts are based on some future story that you don't even know when they're based on reality.
Byron Morrison 12:00
And the way that I find is that easiest to do this is to really bring them into your awareness, you have to stop yourself when you're making thoughts, jumping to assumptions, making conclusions, whatever that is, you have to stop and ask yourself, like, do I know this for certain?
Byron Morrison 12:15
Or is this just a story, where if it's just a story, what else could be going on here? There's a lot of the time, you're just gonna blow it up and make it a far bigger issue than it actually is. And it's only when you slow down, you see what's going on that you can understand what's happening.
Byron Morrison 12:28
Because we all do this, we worry a problem is going to happen, we build it up in our mind and either doesn't even happen. Or when it does, it's actually not that big a deal. So a way of questioning that I love using is just like, Okay, if that's the worst case scenario, this is what you're building up your mind, it's gonna go wrong. If you flip it, what's the best-case scenario?
Byron Morrison 12:47
Let's say you try you get amazing results, everything works out, you then have a 90-day comparison between what could go wrong that you're thinking what could go right, and then ask yourself what's most likely, because when you then bring it into a middle ground, and you see, okay, even if I go for this, and it goes wrong, this may happen.
Byron Morrison 13:05
And it's not that big a deal, it becomes so much easier to actually face it. So it's all about again, slowing down and processing what's happening, and understanding the situation for what it is.
I really liked that exercise because that's very tangible, I love that. I think one of the things I see with my students so often, of course, is with myself, I always say to my students, it's really me.
But the ability to distinguish between fact and thought, right? Like, as you're saying, it's like, we think this is true like this is actually going to happen. And instead, just the very awareness that it is only a thought, I think can be really, really powerful. But that's so hard to do at the moment.
Byron Morrison 13:45
One thing I'd love to add in that it's like, you've just got to recognize every time you're going to a story. I'll give you a real-world example of this perfectly illustrated. There's a CEO I'm working with at the moment, and in one of our sessions a couple of weeks ago, he came to me really frustrated that a member of his team was dropping the ball.
Byron Morrison 14:02
And he was like, this guy stopped caring, he's lost his passion, I bet he's looking for a new job. He's just not performing anymore. And I had to stop. And then I was like, Do you know this for certain? Or is this just a story that you've convinced yourself is going on? And it's like, well, I don't know.
Byron Morrison 14:16
So I was like, Okay, well, what do you need to do is like, I need to go clarify. Because a lot of the time in that story, you need to then take another action to see for certain you took the team member aside to have a conversation. And it turned out that the guy's mother just got diagnosed with a terminal illness. Like she had moved in with him. He was trying to balance that at-home look after all of these horrible things, but he hadn't wanted to speak up about it.
Byron Morrison 14:38
So that was the reason why his performance was suffering. A win that's quite actually recognized so that he could start making some changes to help support him and give him the guidance you need it but because he'd gone straight to the story, initially had the worst-case scenario, like this guy stopped caring, he's leaving the company, all of these things was actually with something completely different. And this is why it's so important that even if
Byron Morrison 14:59
If you're pretty sure, that's what's going on, you always have to question every story, you need to be like, Okay, what do I need to do to figure this out for certain, because your brain might convince you that's what's going on, whereas it can be something completely different.
Byron Morrison 15:14
So you have to stop yourself and go back to what I said before. Always ask yourself, Is this a story? Or do I know this for certain, but if it's just a story, what do you need to do to clarify?
Yeah, well, then I also like, once you believe that that's all you see, right? It's like confirmation bias. It's the reticular activating system, like, you're only allowing in that information that matches up with that story.
So whatever good thing that, the employee is doing, you're not even seeing or you're making an excuse for it because you really want those things to match up your story to match up with reality. That's good stuff. Okay. So we got reaction versus response, talked about the fear and distinguishing that tell me to number three.
Byron Morrison 15:53
So number three is focusing on short-term thinking. This is something that we're all guilty of, where we prioritize what we want in the moment, and we allow it to come at the expense of what we want most. So it's all about people getting people to think at a higher level where they make decisions based on where they want to get to, not on where they are.
Byron Morrison 16:11
And this is something that goes back to the athlete's situation that you talked about, some of your listeners are listening to you see this all the time, in those situations where they don't want to get out of bed, they don't want to train, they're tired, they're beaten up.
Byron Morrison 16:26
But the reason they do it is that they go is bigger than their reasons not to, they're focusing on where they want to get to the outcome they want to create. And they use that with most people. The reason why they struggle taking action is they're relying too much on discipline and willpower. They're hoping that they feel motivated in the moment. And hope is not a strategy.
Byron Morrison 16:44
So it's all about always asking yourself, like what is the consequence of me taking or not taking the action, really playing it out thinking five steps ahead, and then using that as the basis as to the choices you make, because in life, the biggest successes are going to require the biggest sacrifices, whether that means sticking to your diet, rather than having that cheat meal, or whether it means making that investment in yourself rather than saving cash like all of these things require in the moment pain and discomfort.
Byron Morrison 17:11
And this is what most people aren't willing to do. They prioritize pleasure and confidence in the moment desire, which then comes at the expense of the results they could actually create.
And again, one like tip or trick or actionable thing that people do to keep that front of mind, right? I mean, obviously need to set those goals. But a lot of people do that. And then it's like, how do you keep it on a, you know, random Tuesday? How do you stay focused on that long-term versus short-term?
Byron Morrison 17:38
So it's always asking yourself in the moment, like, what is the consequence of me doing this? So I'll give you an example. There's a lady I'm working with at the moment. And one thing we've been tracking is her energy.
Byron Morrison 17:47
And she's found that she's been having midday slumps, where she is filled, absolutely exhausted. And we traced it back looking her routine for good. She was doing everything right, but the one area she was neglecting was her husband at the end of a long day like to stay up and watch Netflix. I just been in a cycle recently where they were just like one more episode. And it was just like cramming more in.
Byron Morrison 18:10
That bench she was going to bed later, she wasn't getting a high-quality sleep. And she was exhausted as a result. So for her, it was catching herself in the moment to me, like, what is the consequence of me taking this action? Is it worth me cramming in an extra hour, knowing that I'm going to be tired tomorrow? And it's using that to then make a decision of, Okay, do I want this more in the moment?
Byron Morrison 18:31
Or do I want more of the results and outcome that I'm going to get? So it's always asking sounds like another one could be like, I told a client about this a few days ago, I was like, last week, there was a day where I really didn't want to go to the gym. I was tired. I'd had a really long week, I was like, I just want to chill. But I just asked myself like, am I gonna regret later today not having done this? And it's just future pacing yourself?
Byron Morrison 18:54
And I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna really be like, You know what, I should have gone to the gym. So I use that as motivation to push myself to take action. So it's always in the future pacing yourself and being like, what is the consequence of being not doing this? Am I gonna have a negative emotion about it? Or is it going to put me off results? Is it going to take me further away from my goals?
Byron Morrison 19:12
I think just being a lot more intentional with what you're doing. Because then when you do decide to give in in those moments, whatever it is, you can know it's by choice, not just because it was an impulsive action.
And I was, you know, looking at your website, too. And I know you do a lot of like sort of planning and reflection on how that's going for the week. Tell me about how that plays into short-term versus long term thinking.
Byron Morrison 19:38
So a lot of it is also known what are your big goals and objectives. So I'm a big advocate of work your 90-day sprints, because while it's great to know where you want to be a year from now, the reality is it's too far away so much could change and be turned upside down. That's why I always push people to think in 90-day sprints where you figure out okay, this is where I want to get to. These are my goals and objectives.
Byron Morrison 20:00
because then you can reverse engineer it, you can break it down into seven-day cycles where you can then be like, Okay, these are the actions I need to take this week to get me one step closer, then every week, take some time to recalibrate, stop and think about okay, what did I move forward? What worked? What didn't?
Byron Morrison 20:15
What do I need to tweak or optimize or pivot, and then build on it step by step? Or you can even take that more granular, and you can take some time every single day and be like, Okay, what do I move forward today? What actually worked? What do I need to be aware of what's throwing me off my game? What do I need to adjust?
Byron Morrison 20:31
This is really depends how much of a high achiever and high performing you want to be because you can go in the mecca of doing it weekly. Or you can get really into the weeds and take a few minutes daily just to monitor what's happening.
Well, I feel like a lot of this back to your step number one, which was that reaction versus response, or, sorry, being proactive, not reactive, just in your priorities and your tasks. That's good stuff. Okay, number four.
Byron Morrison 21:00
So number four is worrying too much about problems that haven't happened yet. So this is something we've touched on this briefly. But we all have this tendency to spend time fixating on the future.
Byron Morrison 21:12
And we just build up in our mind all of these issues that could be going wrong. And then it stops us from doing things today. So this is one of those things, it's all about bringing your focus into the moment, and what you need to do to move forward.
Byron Morrison 21:25
Because a lot of the time we can put ourselves in a self-fulfilling prophecy, where we worry so much about the problem, that our thoughts, our actions, and our decisions all come into alignment. And then we take those steps, and it actually comes real. And then it just reaffirms, in your mind what's actually going on.
Byron Morrison 21:42
I'll give you another real example of this. I had a client I was working with, he was going through a round of fundraising round. And he had a presentation that he went in, and he completely bombed it, like had really tough questions he just didn't perform. And he has to go to mental story like you can't give presentations.
Byron Morrison 21:59
So then for the next two presentations, he convinced himself before it happened, that was going to be the same catastrophe, that he wasn't gonna be able to do it. So built himself up into this anxious state. Again, he bombed it. And this was when he came to me for help. He was like, I can't do this. And I was like, one bad situation does not define you.
Byron Morrison 22:16
But if you keep worrying about things before they happen, you put yourself into a cycle where you then build it up in your head. And that turns into your reality. So it's all about breaking down these problems and seeing like, okay, what can I do about this? And one of my favorite questions is, what action do I need to take care?
Byron Morrison 22:33
Because a lot of the time we just focus five steps into the future, we worry about things that haven't happened yet. Whereas if we pull it back into the present, and be like, yes, that could potentially be a problem. But what action can I take today, in order to help me avoid it, or get it under control, get one step closer towards where I want to be?
Yeah, beautiful. Okay, number five.
Byron Morrison 22:54
Number five is comparing yourself to others. This is something that I think so many people are guilty of myself including in the past where you go on social media, and you just build up all these stories about what everyone else is doing and how they're so far ahead of you.
Byron Morrison 23:08
With the really important thing to remember is, social media is a highlight reel, people only put up there what they want you to see. So if you're constantly comparing yourself to other people, it's always going to feel like you're not enough, because you're comparing your life to someone else's highlight reel of what's going on.
Byron Morrison 23:24
And this is why it's I believe, it's so important that you understand what's actually happening, because so much of that, again, is based on assumption, because that person is currently in the 6am workout, he could be doing it because he's got an unhappy marriage, and he doesn't doesn't want to be at home, or that farm woman who's on her dream holiday, she could have maxed out a credit card.
Byron Morrison 23:42
But if you're just seeing all this stuff, and comparing what's going on in your life to other people, you're never going to feel happy. And this is why for me, like the big guy, I didn't say, given the book, and I would want to give to everyone else here. If you want to stop comparing yourself to others, you have to get clear on what it is you actually want in life.
Byron Morrison 23:59
What is your vision? What are your goals? What do you want to achieve? And they get a tunnel vision where you block out everything else? Because if you always compare yourself to other people, you're always going to feel like you're behind.
Well, I think also it's so demotivating when you think that other people have, I don't know, gotten some success. And maybe you think that it was easy, or you know, or you get yourself an out because you think they have a trust fund or something, you know, it's like it doesn't ever really serve you. To keep you on the path. I see that a lot with people building their businesses, right? It's like, No, this is gonna be hard.
Just because other people make it seem like it's not a big deal. You can just throw a course out there and make a bunch of money. Like, it's not actually how it works.
Byron Morrison 24:44
You know, it takes 10 years to become an overnight success story. But so many people just build up in their mind if they haven't hit in the first 90 days that they're feeling. Yeah. So it's like you've really got to be careful of like what you see on social media and how you then compare that to what's going on in your life.
Byron Morrison 24:59
Don't just with other businesses, it's also people around you. When I remember back, when I was first starting my business, like I got out of the corporate world, I set things up, I was focusing on Craig, what I wanted. And I really was then looking at a lot of my friends who were still in jobs, they were settling down, they were buying houses, they were having kids.
Byron Morrison 25:18
And I really thought, like, I was failing. I was like, everyone's so far ahead of me. And then I realized, actually, I didn't want those things. Like the reason I got out of the corporate world was, I didn't want to work for someone else. I didn't want to be tied to a mortgage, I wanted to travel the world, and I wanted to create a life for myself.
Byron Morrison 25:34
But the problem was, I hadn't fully internalized that. So I was just comparing myself to people who were doing things I didn't even want, and then using that as the benchmark for me feeling like I was behind in life.
Byron Morrison 25:46
And that's why it's so important for anyone listening to this, to really just accept the fact that there is no timeline for life, there's nothing setting out, you should be here by a certain points. And if you're not, you're feeling like that couldn't be further from the truth, every single one of us is on our own journey.
Byron Morrison 26:00
And you have to take it at your own pace. Because if you're not, you're always going to feel like something's missing, and you're never actually going to have the happiness you won't.
Yeah, I noticed that a lot with my certification students like just the thought that they're too late, or they should be further along than they are, or they should have done this earlier, or whatever the like you said, the story that they have, like, it becomes, they make it true.
Like if you feel like you're too late, and you start acting like it's too late, and then you stop taking the action that you need to and the energy sort of dries up. And so I love that. I think that's really important because our next level, it's not just comparing yourself to others that have what you want. It's like also like comparing yourself to others, or even like the life that you think that the place that you shouldn't be, have arrived at sort of.
Byron Morrison 26:54
The important thing to recognize is all of those things that you feel like you should have or should be doing. Like you're not like, at the end of the day, if you feel like you've should be further along. The reality is this is the situation you're in.
Byron Morrison 27:06
And the more that you dwell on that and convince yourself what should be happening, the more you're not going to take action. And this is why for me, it's so important to get get out of your own head and stop focusing on the past, like all of the things you did or didn't do or did wrong, and the mistakes you made, all of that led you to where you are today.
Byron Morrison 27:23
And if you're not happy with choices you've made in the past, or you're where you're at at this stage in your life, no amount of just beating yourself up over it is going to change that. But you can make a decision today that you're going to do something different, because you can't change your past, but you can't change your future.
Byron Morrison 27:37
So if you feel like you know, what I should be further along, then start holding yourself to a higher standard is to take better actions, stop making decisions today that are gonna get you to a point three years from now that you can look back and be like, You know what, I'm at the point I want to be now it's all about getting that shift focus from focusing on the past to the present and what you can do to move forward.
Yeah, beautiful. Okay, number six.
Byron Morrison 28:01
So that's building on nicely from what we just spoke about, like number six is giving up on beat being so hard on yourself. Because I find with high achievers, while it's great that they are their own harshest critic, and it gets them to excel in life, it's also often the very thing that holds them back from living the life that they want.
Byron Morrison 28:20
Because if you, the reality is, there's always going to be more you could have done, there's always going to be that little bit extra you could have put in. And if you always beat yourself up for how you didn't get perfect, or you didn't get everything amazingly right, you're always going to feel like you're not enough. And you'd be amazed how many high achievers I work with, like guys running billion-dollar companies who have such big self-worth issues, just because they beat themselves up over everything going wrong. They constantly take as a reflection of who they are as a person.
Byron Morrison 28:47
And that's why if you don't learn to separate your identity, and how you see yourself from your success and your results, you're always gonna live in a reality where you're just gonna feel like you're not good enough. And that's why for me, it's always about having that balance, where you can know that you did your best that you showed up, you took action, and then also balancing that being like, you know what, I need to cut myself some slack. Yeah.
I love this. It's so funny on my, my notes for today, after doing some research on what you teach, and everything I wrote down what you got you here won't get you there. And I think this really falls under that because I think for a lot of our listeners, they were either high-level athletes or high-level coaches or, you know, been in that competitive environment.
And so much of success at any of those levels is how hard you push and how hard you are on yourself. That's like the definition sometimes of being competitive like competitive with yourself number nothing's ever good enough. And so many people come to us because they reached a level where that doesn't actually work anymore.
And I think honoring that it did work for a while and being able to let go and get to that next level. I don't know if you're seeing this with your, you know, CEOs but like the ability to make that switch is so hard for so many people. I mean, it's like the simplest thing. And yet, it's sometimes really difficult to do. And yet that's the thing that's gonna get them to that next level. Yeah, is that your experience?
Byron Morrison 30:16
100%. And the biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone listening to this who's struggling with right was struggling with this right now, you have to get more intentional with what you're doing. Because the thing is, there's always going to be more to be done. And if you're just going into your weeks being like, I need to move all of this forward and hoping that you're going to catch up and get the to do list done.
Byron Morrison 30:34
It's never going to happen this way. As soon as you get one thing done, there's going to be something else. And I see this with a lot of the clients that come to me at the beginning of the journey, they overload themselves, and they just feel like they're always behind. And that's what I go back to the best piece of advice, just figure out and future pacing yourself.
Byron Morrison 30:50
Like if you go into your week, and you think ahead to 5pm, Friday afternoon, and really ask yourself like knowing where I'm trying to get to what would have to happen by Friday at 5pm. For me to feel like this week was a success. What do I need to get done for me to feel at peace that even though I'm not going to be on top of things, because that's never going to happen? What could I actually do be like, you know, I move things forward this week, I can be happy with myself.
Byron Morrison 31:13
And again, going on to a micro level, you can even do that daily. Like that's one of the things I asked myself every single morning. I'm like, What do I want done by the end of today? For me today, feel like today was a success, and then use that to guide me in what I'm doing. Because then I can know, okay, I showed up, I did the work I followed through.
Byron Morrison 31:29
On the days I don't get it all down, I can then use as an audit of what's going on here. But again, it's never about beating yourself up. But it's been like, Okay, what's happened? It's the same as last week, I had one of those days where I didn't get anything on my to-do list. And then when I stopped and reflect on what happened, I was like, I have several clients like calls come up and emergencies we need to do on my back-to-back meetings all day, some of my high-value work had to be put aside.
Byron Morrison 31:52
And I could be at peace with that. If I didn't take the time to slow down, I would just be like, Oh, I'm behind, I haven't moved things forward. So just being very intentional with what you're doing and committing yourself to, and then having that internal calibration of being like, this is what I'll be happy with. I'm being at peace with that.
I think this is like, to me, this may be the one that's most applicable to our listeners because I probably am projecting but that's okay. I'm one of those in the athletic world have this thing where it's like, the solution is always me trying harder, right? Like whatever the to-do list is, the solution is for me to take more action and to work harder.
And I feel like exactly what you're saying is like the idea that the solution is actually to make things simpler, and easier and clearer and less is so counterintuitive to so many of us. And yet, it's right in front of us like it's available to all of us. And we're actually going to get more results. But it's so doesn't feel like that, because we're just in this habit of like more.
Byron Morrison 33:03
Part of that problem, as well as also living your life day to day. Because if you just living in the moment, it always feels like you need to be doing more. Whereas if you look on a macro level, over the course of a week or a month or a year, you realize you have a lot more time than you actually are giving yourself in that moment.
Byron Morrison 33:21
And this is why it's all about having that consciousness and listening to your body and yourself as to when you're potentially pushing too hard. Because this is something I have to call clients all the time of knowing when their focus is having diminishing returns.
Byron Morrison 33:34
Because yes, you probably could push and get more done. But if you're like exhausted and you're drained at something that could take 20 minutes starts taking two hours, is it really worth actually doing. And this is where you really have to hold yourself to the standard.
Byron Morrison 33:48
And it's so incredibly difficult of just catching yourself in the moment being like, you know what, I need to walk away. I've done what I can't today. And I would be better off going and resting and recovering and coming back fresh tomorrow and getting it done then I would pushing through.
Byron Morrison 34:01
And this is one of the most challenging things to do when you're a high achiever because it feels so uncomfortable. But when you start breaking these thought patterns and you look at the bigger picture and you focus on longevity and recovery, that's the Muay Thai game changes. Because sometimes in order to propel yourself forward, you have to slow down.
Byron Morrison 34:19
And that all comes in looking at the bigger picture of really understanding yourself how you're feeling your way your body's functioning, and then using that to guide you.
Yeah, love it. Okay, last one, number seven.
Byron Morrison 34:30
So number seven is what everything else has been building to. And that is putting off your happiness. Because ultimately what the book is, is getting you out of your own head getting you more intentional with your doing so that you can finally make the time for the things that truly matter.
Byron Morrison 34:45
Because we're all guilty of this, where we say like once I achieve that next go that next milestone that next threshold, that's when I'll take some time or file, spend more time with my family. I'll prioritize myself yet. Isn't that what you said the time before? The time before that.
Byron Morrison 35:00
So often we just convinced ourselves that the timing is not right. We're too busy right now in all of these things. And for so many high achievers, I find this I could actually call it the curse of the high achiever because they always convinced themselves that when they get to the next level, life will be easier.
Byron Morrison 35:15
But every new level of success brings new problems and new demands. And that's why for me, I'm such a big believer of, you have to start actually being intentional with prioritizing the things that matter most. Because if you don't, you're gonna resent your success.
Byron Morrison 35:28
Like the amount of people I've spoken to who have millions of dollars in the bank, they built these huge businesses that they're miserable. Like to get there, they've sacrificed their family, their health, everything that truly matters. And they've burnt out and they hate life. And that's why it's all about slowing down and being like what you actually want.
Byron Morrison 35:46
How do you find that an intentional harmony between your goals and what actually is the life you want to be living? So it's all about getting you to stop prioritizing the things that you want to live the life that you desire.
Nice, Alright, I'm gonna review I'm okay. So we got the maybe you should give up this your seven ways, right? We got the not reacting instead being more proactive, being aware of your fears.
And correct me if any of these are wrong, short term thinking over long term thinking, focusing on problems that haven't happened comparing ourselves to others we have to give up being hard on ourselves, and then putting off our own happiness. Awesome.
Okay, tell me where people can find you. When's the book coming out? Tell me all the things.
Byron Morrison 36:35
So the books are June 27. But it's available anywhere. You can order books, whether it's Barnes and Noble, Waterstones, Amazon or anywhere else. And the best place to find me is a Byronmorrison.com.
Byron Morrison 36:46
And I'm also active on LinkedIn is the main platform but also on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok. Just search for author Byron Morrison, I do daily videos and guides and everything from mindset, personal development and performing at a higher level.
Okay, cool. And then I have five rapid fire questions for you. Do you mind?
Byron Morrison 37:05
Go for it.
Okay, just real quick, off the top of mind. What info? are you consuming right now?
Byron Morrison 37:11
What information are you consuming right now?
Byron Morrison 37:14
So at the moment, I'm primarily consuming information on how to do a book launch. Like my bandwidth is just taken up by influencer marketing, doing a lot of that's what I got a big focus at the moment.
Nice. And what are you creating?
Byron Morrison 37:29
The moment we're creating a lot of marketing campaigns, that's a lot of video content. I'm really doubling down on Instagram and Tiktok. We've got a few other big marketing campaigns that a lot of writing and just video content as well.
Absolutely. What's one healthy habit you do daily,
Byron Morrison 37:47
switch off my phone and laptop. I can't tell you how bad I used to be where it would be like the last thing I used to check before bed, I would just always consumed my mind. So I've really had to set the boundary of this is when I'm finishing this is when I'm disconnecting and then actually sticking to it.
Yeah, nice. What is your next big leap?
Byron Morrison 38:07
So when the book comes out, we're using this as a platform to launch my speaking career. So I really see what it's like to start speaking on stages around the world, impacting people on a global scale and having a greater influence than helping people around the world take control of their lives. That's the next big leap.
Nice. And what is bringing you joy or wonder right now.
Byron Morrison 38:29
I'm with Family. i That's one thing in my life that really makes me happy. So I've just got very intentional about setting the right boundaries. It's the same as my dog every single lunchtime non-negotiable him and I go out for a walk I leave my phone behind, we get some fresh air adventure day Saturdays with my girlfriend, we go out leave the house, do something like time with my parents like those are things very intentional about because it brings happiness into my life.
Nice, nice. Well, Byron, I saw appreciate your time, we will link your Instagram and your book to our show notes. So guys, check out his book. It's coming out in June. And so appreciate your time today and can't wait to read the book.
Byron Morrison 39:09
Thanks for having me on.
Thanks Byrib and take care.
So there you have it, guys. If you'd liked this episode, please rate review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. So for me, I loved all seven of these tools. I thought they were great and love to stories, I love the actual thing. But the one that kind of stuck out for me that I'm going to encourage you to try is the next time you go to that I have a goal.
And I'm gonna think about the worst-case scenario if it doesn't work out. Let's go into that best case scenario and then meet somewhere in the middle. I thought that was really, really a cool way to do it. And of course, something that you can do with your athletes and your clients as well as think about that worst case because that's where our brain goes first.
Then flipping it going to that best-case scenario and then finding that middle ground. That's probably the most realistic anyway, so I love that tool. Guys. We got a new ebook coming out.
Hey, if you love this episode, make sure to check out all of our free and paid resources over at positiveperformancetraining.com You want to take mindset training to the next level we got you. But here are three more specific ways.
If you want to take mindset training and live it more in your life. Definitely subscribe to this podcast. We send out bonus episodes, we have our mental Mondays, we have interviews and training episodes, definitely subscribe. If you want to teach it, meaning taking it to your athletes or your clients. I highly recommend the Psychology of Competition.
Again, you can check that out at positiveperformancetraining.com It is a great course that will teach you and your athletes how to have pre, during, and post-competition routines to up your performance. And if you want to learn how to have a mindset coaching business in order to sell mindset coaching, highly recommend signing up for our waitlist for our next certification cohort, which usually opens about once a year, but in the meantime, go to positiveperformancetraining.com.
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