Lindsey 0:12
Welcome to the Mindset Coach Academy Podcast. I'm Lindsey Wilson. And I am a high performance mindset coach, a mom, a former professional athlete and an entrepreneur. I help coaches and high performers optimize their mindset to improve their coaching, their performance, and those other athletes and their lives. Here, you'll learn all about mindset, how to live it, how to teach it, and how to sell it.
Lindsey 0:35
Hi all, and welcome to the mindset coach Academy podcast. My name is Lindsey Wilson, thank you for being here. Today, I want to talk about some of your secret thoughts that you might have as a mindset coach, or as someone that impacts others, and leads others, it can be really easy to have negative thoughts about our clients.
Lindsey 0:59
And if that is triggering for you, I just invite you to stay with me for a little while, because I think it can be really powerful to take a deep dive into how our energy and how our thoughts are really impacting how we show up, how we influence others, how we actually impact them.
Lindsey 1:18
But before we get into the meat of today's podcast, I want to just give you a little personal update. So as many of you know, I run a multiple six-figure business as a mindset coach. And I also have four daughters, four daughters under eight. And this year, 2023, my youngest is eight months.
Lindsey 1:38
And the beginning of this year, towards the end of last year, I was really feeling that pull to get more into my own development as a mindset coach as an entrepreneur and as a CEO. And so what does that look like? For me, I have been investing at a really high level, both from a time and money standpoint, in my own personal development, I have a mastermind as my own coach.
Lindsey 2:03
And I will have more insight into this, but I just wanted to share with you, you know that I'm really in the trenches with that as well. And I know it can be really easy to look at someone else that is balancing a lot, whether that's kids or other responsibilities. And being an entrepreneur, and it can be really easy to think well, they just have more time or they have more money, or they have more help. And that may be true, you know, depends on the situation.
Lindsey 2:29
But what is also true is that I am constantly pushing myself to do more, I'm constantly trying to figure out how to manage my own mind, and I am constantly trying to manage my time better. And really, this all comes down to me, right? Like I can change some of the circumstances. But the circumstances are only going to change when my mindset changes.
Lindsey 2:53
And so, you know, I have to step into prioritizing myself in any area that I want to improve. And for me that the biggest improvement is either in my health, mental or physical, and in my business, and horse, those are all wrapped up into really one package, because they all impact each other.
Lindsey 3:14
But I just want to invite you to remember that the most important part of all this is you. We can change so much just by working on our own ability to manage our minds, manage our reactions, manage our emotions, manage our thoughts. And again, I just want to give you a simple reminder that I'm doing it too.
Lindsey 3:40
And I've already noticed the impact on my own ability to handle my own capacity to handle things. And that's really my intention for this year. So more on this, I'll have more specifics. But I just wanted you to know that I am taking it seriously more seriously. And I'm going to another level, I guess is what I mean.
Lindsey 3:59
All right. So speaking of another level, let's talk about how to get to another level in your impact and cleaning up anything that needs to be cleaned up. So what do I mean by this? I was in my own mastermind recently, and one of my peers talked about, you know, we were all kind of kind of bringing what we needed to do to improve how we were going to get to another level in our business.
Lindsey 4:31
And she stood up and she said, I think the problem is that I hate my clients. And I think all of us had that sort of reaction of like, ooh, that's really not good. And we totally understand. Now insert you don't have to say hate I don't think I've necessarily hated my clients. But what I mean by that is that's the most extreme level.
Lindsey 4:56
But what I mean by that is really any kind of negative feeling negative thoughts negative energy that you're bringing to a situation? And I challenged my newsletter list recently. And maybe you're on that list to ask people, what are their sort of secret thoughts that they might have about their clients and or the athletes that they coach or the people that they influence.
Lindsey 5:20
And I think, oftentimes we have these negative thoughts, and then we immediately try to shove them down, or we have shame or guilt about them. And we think, well, we shouldn't be thinking about them. And so we may even tell ourselves, we don't think of them. And I just want to invite you to recognize that one, you are a human being. And we cannot be 100% positive all the time. That's just not how we're built, that's not going to happen.
Lindsey 5:50
And so we really don't have to feel shame or guilt about this. The only problem is, if we don't admit it, and we continue trying to get these results when we are bringing in negativity into the situation. So an example is, like, when a lot of times I'll talk to coaches like they talk to coaches, and they'll be like, Well, I think my athletes just don't care.
Lindsey 6:16
Okay, so first of all, this is a very normal response when you're not getting the results that you want. And what is also true is that if you are going into practices, if you are going into games, if you're going into the entire season thinking, Well, my athletes don't care, how are you going to show up, there is no chance not as luck, not any kind of percentage chance that you are not showing up differently when you bring that thought, no chance.
Lindsey 6:44
So it is impacting you, it is impacting them, it is impacting your ability, all of your ability to get results. Okay. So this is easy to see from the outside. But back to my friend, my peer. So she recognized that when she hates her clients, and again, insert any feeling that's negative towards your clients or your athletes, when she feels that she shows up differently, she gets burnt out, she gets frustrated with them, they feel that impact, they feel less motivated or less inclined to do things.
Lindsey 7:19
And it really impacts her ability to sell her ability to market her ability for her current clients to get results, which is the way she's going to build her business. So we sort of helped her, see what she already knew, but just consciously going through that process.
Lindsey 7:39
In the Mindset Coach Academy, we go through something called the tear process, where we look at how our thought affects our emotion affects our action, which ultimately affects our result. So she had gone through that on her own. So she knew that we really talked about how to clean that up.
Lindsey 7:52
So let me tell you some of the thoughts that you may have, you may not even recognize that you have. And I know this because I've had them. Now, just a little side note, if you are one of my clients, or my students, I want you to understand that this isn't a thought about a single person.
Lindsey 8:17
So don't listen to this and be like, Oh, she thinks that about me. This is not about a single person. And what you will recognize as you listen to this, and you think about this for yourself is when I have these thoughts, it is 100% about me, it's not about my clients, it's not about any one client. It's not about any of them, it's about me.
Lindsey 8:37
And so for you as a coach, and as someone that influences people, you if you choose need to also recognize that it's not about one of your clients, it's not about when your athletes are not about them, it's about you. This is what this is about and 100% you can control that which is also on the good side, okay?
Lindsey 8:54
So just take a breath, when you are a person that coaches helps influences other people. It is normal to get water. It is normal and human to feel pissed off when they don't matter how hard work irritated at them for not getting the results that you want and potentially for not making you look good. It's normal to feel burnout or resentful. It's normal to feel like they're so lazy and you wonder why you bother.
Lindsey 9:37
Wondering, it's normal to feel like you're wondering when your pay day is going to come like you're doing all this hard work. Where's the money? It's normal to feel mad that they aren't more grateful or appreciative of how much you care.
Lindsey 9:52
It's normal to feel sort of resentful that and feel like you're working towards other people's goals and not your own. It's also normal to feel conflicted about these feelings, to feel conflicted about why you don't feel purposeful and fulfilled all the time. And it also was normal to feel guilty or shameful about wanting to change it or wanting to make some money, doing what you're doing, all of that is normal.
Lindsey 10:20
Okay, to take a deep breath. This episode is not about adding more shame, or guilt, or other ness to what you're feeling, I have felt all of those things. And I believe anybody that's helping people, and is honest, has felt these things as well, maybe not this exact thing. But some flavor of this, okay. And I want you to know that it is okay. But once we are aware of them, we cannot stay there.
Lindsey 10:50
Because if our goal really is to help people, and our goal really is to elevate ourselves through that process, we have the opportunity to grow by managing the one thing that we can, which is ourselves. Okay, so if you're feeling any of the above, it's normal, but we can't stay there. Okay. I want to invite you to feel in your bones and believe that coaching can be simple. It can be easy, it can be like, you don't have to feel overwhelmed, and burnout and resentful.
Lindsey 11:27
And you can still have a lasting and deep impact on those who lead. It's not either or less of you less. What am I trying to say? Like, so many of you care so deeply. And I don't want you to feel like if you don't care so, so deeply and go to that place of overwhelm and resentment.
Lindsey 11:52
And like trying to pull people up, like literally pulling them up, that if you don't go to that extreme, you're not gonna have the influence that you want, that is a lie. That is a lie. You can have a deep and lasting impact without going to the place where you are in a negative place. Okay, we don't have to go to the negative place to have a positive impact.
Lindsey 12:18
In fact, we can't do see how that is like mixed up in our mind. So many of you are giving so much. Maybe you're overgiving because here's what I know, won't work, doing the same thing, and expecting a different result. So here positive performance, we have our mindset coach Academy, and really what we do is we teach coaches how to coach, we teach you skills and tools that allow you to do this work on a deeper, more impactful and simpler level. But here's where it starts.
Lindsey 12:58
And this is where the only way that it can get easier is if you're being honest about the energy you are bringing into the coaching relationship, because I can't promise you, a team full or every single client that you work with is always going to be perfect. That's not reality, it's not going to happen.
Lindsey 13:13
So what we can control and what is going to make this process easier for you is cleaning up your thoughts. Because if you stay with the thought, my clients, you know, suck or my clients are lazy, and I don't like doing this and I feel so burnout, you're not going to be successful, satisfied, fulfilled, fill in the blank, whatever you are seeking, you're not going to get it.
Lindsey 13:38
And the more you try that way, the less results you're gonna get and the more burnout you're gonna get. Okay, so in this space, I want to invite you to tell yourself the truth. Tell yourself the truth about how you're feeling without judging without blame without guilt. That is the first step. Okay, so think about which of the above things that I talked about, resonates with you, if you're feeling these things, what can you do. Now, you have this negative thought, what can you actually do about it?
Lindsey 14:16
So, what I'm going to show you is, is basically what I'm going to do is I'm gonna coach you through one of these thoughts, okay? And I'm going to give you the process that I take people through for shifting this okay.
Lindsey 14:30
So the first thing that I want you to come up with a negative thought that you have so one of them that was coming up pretty regularly. My current students and I are in this mindset coaching certification. And then for some of you that are on the newsletter, okay.
Lindsey 14:51
There were thoughts like negative thoughts about their clients or their athletes that were something like, I think my athletes are lazy. I think they're selfish, I think they're entitled, and I think they don't want to take mental performance seriously. Kids are different these days, and I don't know how to reach them, or I don't think people will pay for mindset coaching.
Lindsey 15:11
Okay? So take a negative thought that you have. And I'm going to ask you two questions. And I want you to pay attention to these questions, because these are really important questions for you, as a mindset coach, or as someone that influences others, they are essentially about getting buy in and consent for coaching. Okay, so the first thing is, let's take your thought. My clients, my students don't take mental performance seriously.
Lindsey 15:42
Okay. Now, the first thing that I'll say is, is your the course first question I would ask you is, is your current mindset working for you? Is that thought, my athletes aren't taking my mental performance training seriously, or they won't take it seriously. Is that thought, working for you? If it is, how about it?
Lindsey 16:04
And this might seem really, really obvious. But this is a really important mental shift. Because the only way we're going to try something new, whether that's from someone like me a coaching the situation or, or even for ourselves, just trying, being willing to try something new, is that the current thing has to not be working?
Lindsey 16:22
And not only does it not has it got to not be working, we have to be aware that it isn't working, and that is causing us some pain. So we have to be willing to try a new way, only when we recognize that this current thought isn't working for us. Okay.
Lindsey 16:38
So that brings us to question number two. So the first question is, is your current mindset working for you? The second is, are you if it's not? Are you willing to try a new way? Create a new paradigm create a shift? And essentially, are you willing to grow and be uncomfortable? That doesn't mean that's not that you really want it, it just means are you willing? Okay.
Lindsey 16:59
So those two questions are really, really important from a coaching buying standpoint. Okay. So, if you're still with me, let's keep going. Okay. So, again, we have this thought my athletes won't take mental performance training seriously. Now, we think that that's a fact. What I will encourage you to believe and shift in your mindset is, that is not a fact.
Lindsey 17:27
It is a thought that you have about a situation. So maybe somebody rolled their eyes one time, or maybe they seemed like they weren't listening. But it is literally your observation of what is happening. You don't know what the fact is about that situation. So let me give an example. So maybe you tried to do mental performance training one time and people seem distracted.
Lindsey 17:54
But maybe it's not about mental performance training, maybe one, you didn't engage them well enough. Or two, maybe they had a really hard day at school, maybe they had a fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend ahead of time, maybe they failed a test, maybe they have a big test the next day, like there can be all these reasons that someone looks like they're not paying attention, that has nothing to do with whether they are interested in mental performance or take it seriously or not. Okay?
Lindsey 18:22
So we often make our thoughts facts. That is how our brain works, we see something we make sense that we try to make sense of it according to our own beliefs, our own beliefs. I'm gonna talk about that in a second. And then we projected on other people.
Lindsey 18:40
So often when we think other people aren't taking mental performance training seriously, guess what, we aren't taking it seriously. And that might just be a little bit. It might be just a little tiny doubt that we have about how we can impact people, maybe just some little hesitation that we have when we go into work with a team. And that creeps in and it affects everything that we see everything. We judge every single person we're looking for someone to roll their eyes.
Lindsey 19:16
So our thought impacts highly impacts that situation. Okay, so this is where it's so important that we are willing to look at a new perspective because once we believe that our athletes don't take it seriously. We we find the evidence. We're like see she rolled her eyes and then we go looking for it with our actions.
Lindsey 19:45
Okay. So let me give you an like a real world example. So I do this sometimes in my own house. I never thought about my husband not cleaning enough, right? And one I immediately feel relief, because it has nothing to do with me, there's nothing that I can do better is all about him.
Lindsey 20:06
Okay, and that feels good in the moment, okay. And then when I believe that that is a fact, I start looking for evidence that reinforces my belief that he doesn't help clean the kitchen enough. And then I filter out any evidence against it. So I will start thinking of all the instances that he didn't empty the dishwasher and ignore any evidence to the contrary, I won't see any of the good things he does in the house, I won't even I'll make some excuse for the time that he did clean, and I'll make everything fit.
Lindsey 20:47
Our brains are powerful, you guys. I make everything in my brain, every observation that I have about my husband in the kitchen, I will make it fit into this paradigm that I believe doesn't help me clean the kitchen enough. You guys, this sounds kind of scary. Okay. So I will filter out anything to the contrary. And we do this.
Lindsey 21:06
So this is why the thought that we bring to the situation of coaching, and mindset coaching or any kind of coaching is so important, because our brains will filter out any evidence that doesn't match up with what we already believe, or you listening to me, our brains will filter out any evidence that doesn't match up with what we already believe. So we have to look at our thoughts first.
Lindsey 21:31
Now, that doesn't mean that we have to say, Oh, my athletes love mental performance training, and they are just so you know, in love with it. If we don't believe that's possible, that's not going to work either.
Lindsey 21:42
What I want you to do is I want you to shift it, I want you to just say, my athletes, something like maybe the more I show up with passion, the more my athletes are willing to try something new with mental performance training, something like this something that you can believe in, that isn't so black and white, because that's the problem with a lot of our beliefs that are negative beliefs that come up, I mean, they come up and they're like, black or white, they're like, they don't care. And then I have to switch it to something totally positive.
Lindsey 22:14
I don't believe that either. Okay, the goal of this mindset shift. And again, this is like, the game my husband and cleaning the kitchen, is I become a part of the solution. And he becomes part of the solution. So this is where we shift our thought, and this is what happens.
Lindsey 22:32
We stay curious, we start trying to figure out the why we start coming up with solutions. We make less assumptions about things that are concrete. You know, like, they're not that I think about my husband, or like, they're just terrible. They're just not doing it.
Lindsey 22:50
And we start trying to find a solution that works. And we may even build consensus with them. And if we start thinking that they actually want to help they actually want to do mental training, they actually want to learn, then we put the onus back on us of like, how can we engage them in a better way?
Lindsey 23:08
And when we put that question back on us, guess what, we grow, they grow, and we all get better results. So this is a really important shift you guys to take ownership over the energy based on the thought that we have about our students and about our clients.
Lindsey 23:29
And then it's harder though, right? Because then we're actually putting some responsibility on us to manage our mind. Now, what I want you to take a beat with here is I want you to watch if you're going into blame or shame, or any other thoughts like, oh, well, you know, I have standards. Lindsey, I have standards.
Lindsey 23:49
This isn't about not having standards. This is about rowing. This is about results. This is actually about higher standards. This is about stepping back and recognizing that our brain when we give it the space to find solutions, finds amazing solutions. But we have to train ourselves to do that. Because otherwise, we sit here in our life.
Lindsey 24:13
We're like, your problem. You're the problem. You're the problem. You're the problem. Y'all need to figure it out. And then our responsibility shrinks. And in the short term that feels good. It feels so good. Okay.
Lindsey 24:28
So this is really important that we can step into the truth about the situation, and take ownership of what we can control. And again, don't go to that other side and be like, well, Lindsey, they aren't taking it seriously. So this is all bullshit. No.
Lindsey 24:44
You have to shift how you see the situation and start looking for the positive and looking for the solutions. It's not about lying. It's not about going to the opposite positive side and saying well, they take mental performance training seriously. My husband's great at cleaning the kitchen. No No, this isn't about lying. This is about finding some common ground so that we can find solutions.
Lindsey 25:09
Okay? Now, if you still have some resistance, this is what I would offer you. This is a challenge you guys, this is the harder way to do it. Okay, challenge your brain to switch the paradigm that have you stuck and frustrated and stagnant. Just challenge it. If your way hasn't worked, just try this. You don't have to do it forever. Okay. So again, let me give you some examples. So if your thought was, my, I don't think my athletes are going to take mental performance training seriously shifted to something like,
Lindsey 25:47
I believe my athletes want to be their best, they just don't know how yet. Or I believe that my athletes need to be taught how to train their brains so that they can overcome any thoughts or fears or doubts that they have. And we can figure it out together.
Lindsey 26:06
Do you see how those thoughts aren't big huge, like, overly positive things. These are just things that you can control. And when you step into that as your truth as your thought that you believe in, again, you grow, they grow, and you're much more likely to get the results that you want.
Lindsey 26:28
Okay, so we can move past I hate my clients take ownership of that energy and those thoughts, shift it, and everything shifts, you guys, we don't have to stay there. We don't have to feel bad about it. This is just how it works. Okay.
Lindsey 26:46
Now, we have a new ebook coming out very soon. It's tentatively called How to Become a Mindset and high-performance coach. Okay. So I'm going to put those notes in the show, we will put them in the show notes. If it's out yet. If it's not out yet. It's coming out soon.
Lindsey 27:02
But if you've ever wanted to be a mindset coach, you have to get your hands on this guy because it is going to answer all the questions you have and give you really great frameworks. great overview of really how you can make a career out of this. So if you've ever wanted to do it, get your hands on this guide. We will be posting it very, very soon.
Lindsey 27:19
Alright guys, I hope this episode was helpful. If it was, please like it, share it, review it, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Alright guys, bye for now.
Lindsey 27:32
Hey, if you love this episode, make sure to check out all of our free and paid resources over at positiveperformancetraining.com You want to take mindset training to the next level we got you. But here are three more specific ways.
Lindsey 27:44
If you want to take mindset training and live it more in your life. Definitely subscribe to this podcast. We send out bonus episodes, we have our mental Mondays, we have interviews and training episodes, definitely subscribe. If you want to teach it, meaning taking it to your athletes or your clients. I highly recommend the Psychology of Competition.
Lindsey 28:02
Again, you can check that out at positiveperformancetraining.com It is a great course that will teach you and your athletes how to have pre, during, and post-competition routines to up your performance. And if you want to learn how to have a mindset coaching business in order to sell mindset coaching, highly recommend signing up for our waitlist for our next certification cohort, which usually opens about once a year, but in the meantime, go to positiveperformancetraining.com.
Lindsey 28:27
And check out our Ultimate Mindset Coaching Toolkit which will show you exactly how to get started with your first mindset coaching clients. Again, go to positiveperformancetraining.com for all of our free and paid resources.
