Welcome to the Mindset Coach Academy podcast. I'm Lindsey Wilson and I am a high performance mindset coach, a mom, a former professional athlete and an entrepreneur. I help coaches and high performers optimize their mindset to improve their coaching, their performance and those of their athletes and their lives. Here you'll learn all about mindset, how to live it, how to teach it and how to sell it. Hi all and welcome back to Mindset Coach Academy podcast.
My name is Lindsey Wilson. Guys, today it is Mental Monday and as you know, Mental Monday is where we talk about just one little tiny tool, tip or technique that you can use in your life and as many of these tips do, this one comes directly from my life and something that I'm working on and something really that I just noticed at, you know, 42 years old. I mean, I guess I noticed a little bit before but I just really noticed it and this is what happened. So I had sort of a shake up in my life last week and it had to do with childcare and just like a, it would have been a and I bet a lot of you do this as well also is I move very quickly to action. I'm very comfortable with action.
Something happens, I want to solve the problem, I want to take some action even if it's the wrong action, like I want to move forward. That makes me feel safe and there's obviously some very big upsides to that and some pretty big downsides as well. But one thing that I'm really noticed, so I've known that about myself and something you should definitely watch in yourself if it's applicable. But the second thing is I am noticing that I go quickly to gratitude also and this sounds really good, right? And I've always thought of this as like a really positive thing for me is like, I can see the silver lining, I can practice gratitude, like I believe in all that the gratitude list, the saying it out loud, like all those things, right?
Like of all the craziness that happens in our day to day life, like we're healthy, our kids are healthy, hopefully, right? Like those are the things that I try to focus on. And on the outside or in the external or just how I always thought about it's like that's a really good quality in myself to move quickly to gratitude. But what I have noticed and I'm bringing it to you today in case you do the same thing is gratitude, yes, is great. Yes, a very positive practice to have in our life.
But here's what I do. Something happens and in this case it was child care related. And I skip over the feeling of fear, disappointment, worry, hurt, whatever it is. And I go straight to action, which I've always known about myself, and I go straight to gratitude, right? So I just skip over the feeling.
But here's what happens. I feel it in my body. I feel stressed. I feel anxious. I feel like my breath isn't super deep.
That's where I generally feel stress. And I am confused as to what's happening. And the whole thing is I didn't allow myself to feel before I went to gratitude. So again, here's what happens. Something happens in my life, in this case it was childcare related. I skip over the feeling and I go straight to figuring out a new solution and I go straight to it's not that big of a deal because my children are safe and warm and fed and with everything else going on in the world like my kids are okay.
This is true. This is a good practice, but it's in the wrong place and I'm using it as a way to buffer myself against feeling. So I'm using it as a distraction.
I'm using it as a way to skip steps. I'm using it as a coping mechanism instead of feeling the feeling and then really getting to gratitude. The gratitude's not a lie. I'm not lying to myself.
I really believe those things, but it's in the wrong order. So for me, a lot of it is slowing down. Something happens allowing myself to feel then moving in the right order into action and gratitude. And I was thinking about where this comes from and I just, I mean, I think it just comes from like many of these things comes from my family of origin, which again is many positive things. I come from people that work. I come from people that are tough.
I come from people that are generally positive and are grateful for what they have in their life. Those are all good qualities, but I can't skip steps. And so for you, for this mental Monday, I'm curious when something big happens in your life, what steps do you skip? Do you skip feeling too? Because look, feeling's the hardest part. Just sitting with your feelings.
They're uncomfortable. I don't want to feel alone. I don't want to feel scared. I don't want to feel sad. I don't want to feel any of those things. I want to feel gratitude.
That's what I want to feel. And again, such a great tool if used as a tool and not as a buffer against actually feeling things. So that's my sort of public service announcement and just new awareness is about myself and wondering if that brings anything up for you as you're going about your day today, thinking about allowing yourself to feel. And maybe one way to think about it is, is there something that you do or some tool that you reach for instead of feeling?
That's how I would think about it. Is there something that you tend to do instead of feeling? And for some of us, it's outwardly bad things like drinking or drugs or TV or eating too much. Like some of us go to those things and some of us go to things that seem really positive and actually aren't.
So some of us go to exercise. That's kind of a mixed thing because I think it really does help. But going straight to that and not allowing yourself to feel or like I said, gratitude or whatever. And sometimes their mask is what I mean. Sometimes skipping the steps to away from feeling. Sometimes it's masked as like an externally outwardly facing positive thing. And for me, I'm realizing that it's not always positive if done in the wrong order. So for me, something happens.
I need to allow myself to feel and then I can move to action and gratitude. So just some food for thought. If you love this, if you think this was relevant for you, maybe it's relevant for somebody else. Click share, send it to somebody through a text message, let them know you're thinking about you. And as always, you guys rating, subscribing, reviewing the podcast truly, truly, truly does help. So I'd appreciate it if you could take the time to do that. All right, guys, we'll see you again next week for Mental Monday.
Bye for now.
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